I quickly tried to figure out how I could do all the things I had on my agenda AND all the things that are already on my plate. As reality set in I circled lower and lower into the pit. My emotions rose to the surface as I realized that I can not handle any more than what is already on my plate. If I did add anything else to my plate I would be doing a disservice to the great things the Lord has already given me... sigh. Ask my poor husband and my dear friend Mary, I was a hot mess. Tears at the drop of a hat! Somehow in my mind, the things that I wanted to do with my life had become more important than the tasks that God has given me now, in this season.
Mary sweetly suggested that I make a list of 5 things that I want to do this year. I sat at the table with a blank notebook in front of me and pen in hand.....for....ever. I jotted down a couple of things and moved onto something else. Then again, at my party last night Mary asked me what 5 things I wanted to do this year. I him hawed and then threw out a couple of things I have always dreamed of doing and then moved on to something else.
Last night, after the house was empty and I had some quiet time to myself the Lord's still small voice gently spoke to my heart. I had plenty of grand plans for this year and this decade of my life, but when it came down to it, I couldn't write them down. They didn't line up with God's plan for me. I needed to get in step with Him and His desire for me.
So this morning once again I sat down at the table with a fresh page, pen in hand and Bible open. God brought these two verses back to my mind from womens retreat last year.
Isaiah 58:11
"And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give you strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail."
As I read that verse I prayed that the Lord would guide me, open my eyes to what He desires for me. I prayed that He would satisfy the desires that once gave me life and joy but now are just mundane tasks that are honestly burning me out. I prayed that He would give me strength to do what He has called me to do, and that He would continually flow from me, never failing, always providing all I needed this year...this decade...always.
Then I turned to Jeremiah 17:7-8 "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. For He will be like a tree planted by the water that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit."
As I read that verse i knew that was going to be my verse this year. Above all, I want to trust in the Lord, have good, healthy roots and never cease to bear fruit... My goals, dreams and expectations will never come back empty when I am pursuing God's plan for my life. With that in mind my 5, actually 6 goals came flowing out.
I looked at my life today and thought about where I was going to be at the end of the decade. That changed my perspective completely These next years are the only years that all of my kids are going to be in the house. If this decade was a chapter in my book of life, it would be about all our adventures together as a family. I wouldn't want it to be about anything else. So, my list of goals is not just for this year. These are the goals I have for my 30's.
1. Never stop growing. Strive to know more, apply more, and continually press forward. Shredding all that hinders me from being who God wants me to be. Pressing into Him, knowing Him and understanding His Word in a way that transforms my heart, my mind, my character and my life.
2. Raise my kids to love, honor and desire to obey the Lord. I want to spend these years that I have them all in my house providing a safe, loving, godly, fun haven where they can grow and thrive.
3. Use my gift, abilities and passions to support my husband in ministry and teach my children compassion. I want to prayerfully and thoughtfully walk in the way the Lord directs me as I encourage and support missionaries and ministries to orphans and foster children.
4. Go on a missions trip to Africa (this has been a life long dream!)
5. Go on a missions trip as a family
6. Go on one grand vacation either back to Europe or somewhere tropical.
May my life, even my 30's, bring God glory and honor.
Thank you for the inspiration +Mary Dorough. I lush you!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment