For the LOVE

       In a world where social media consumes our spare moments, we have hundreds of friends, but few people who truly know us. Most people would rather portray their lives as perfect, than let people into the mess. As lovely as it is for me to know what you ate today for lunch... and as much as I admire how pretty you look posed on that mountain, looking all adventurous with your hip popped and your duck face on point... I fear we are missing something invaluable. Authenticity.

       I have spent most of my life seeking love, affirmation and acceptance from others. The ironic thing is that I was putting on my best face, I never let anyone see the worst parts of me, I was always striving to be the most appealing version of myself to receive love... but receiving love for being the best and brightest version of myself left me feeling empty and alone when I failed or was wrestling through sadness, darkness and disappointments.

      In the last two years I have learned a lot about love. I chose to, reluctantly at times, let my guard down and to be open and vulnerable about the mess. I let some of my people see my worst and not just my best. I thought it would put people off of being in my life and extending love to me, but it did quite the opposite. Authenticity bred authenticity. When you find people that love you in your darkest moments, you will never settle for any other kind of people. Love always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres, love never fails. Love doesn't leave when you aren't at your best, and love doesn't just join you on the floor when your at your worst, love comes alongside and guides you to something better. It points you to Jesus, the author and perfecter of miraculous love, faithful love, true love.


      We are saturated in a culture that bombards us with the idea that true love is full of passion and promises of happily ever after - while real life and real love is hard work, full of mistakes, fights and lots of forgiveness in between all the bright and beautiful spots. Our culture promises a love that will complete you, while God promises a love that is complete. The most loving thing that my husband can ever do for me in every season and circumstance is to remind me of who I am in God -  Completely and wholly loved by Him no matter where I'm at, how I feel, what I've done.... I am fully known, and still deeply loved. No pretense, no pretending to be perfect, no questions asked... at my absolute worst, I am unconditionally and perfectly loved by God. When I do wrap my head around that truth, it enables me to point others to the same place and to love others freely with a love that flows in miraculous ways from the source itself, Jesus.  When I walk in the truth that I am fully loved and known in that way, I think less about myself and love others in a greater capacity.

     This last year love has looked different to me. Looking back, the dark moments were the ones where I experienced the deepest and most faithful kind of love. God has been good to me and given me people that are committed to me, and are always pointing me to Jesus. I know that today is about mushy love, but today our family is celebrating the kind of love that has changed our lives forever. The love of faithful friends.

     If you don't have that kind of friend, you aren't alone, reach out and start being that friend. Have a glow stick dance party, go out to coffee and over share your heart out, love on someone else's kids like they are your very own, have game nights, have family movie nights, get matching tattoos, have sleep overs, let people see you cry, let people see your mess, let people carry your burdens and return the favor for them, share your hopes and fears, be vulnerable, be real, laugh until your gut hurts, 'til tears stream down your face - or 'til you pee your pants, let people speak truth over you - even if it's hard to hear, do life together, do church together, do meals with the people you love, and invite other people in.... the world needs to see intentional, beautiful, authentic love. 

      On this day, I am thankful. Thankful for the people that let God's great love overflow and pour out in my life. I'm thankful they let me return the favor. I'm thankful that my people are brave enough to love in a vulnerable and real way that lets me know I'm not the only broken person in the world. We are all broken, and better together.

      Know how deeply you are loved and pursued by King Jesus and let that love overflow into the lives of whoever the Lord puts right in front of your face, and watch how that kind of intentional and selfless love can change your whole entire world.... and beyond. Authenticity is contagious and  intentional love changes everything. 

    
        
   
   

   
   

When Life Doesn't Make Sense

      Just a little over two years ago God gave our family a very clear direction and a clear mission. It was one of the scariest things we had ever done, but we were certain that He was in it and certain of His calling. So, we jumped. Friends, it was right to do. We knew that moving to Corvallis and taking on a church re-plant, and everything that entailed was a risk... a huge risk for our family actually. But, let me tell you something true, ALL the best things in life are a little risky. This risk in particular was worth it. 

       I was awake most of the night writing and rewriting this post in my head, and it sounded so eloquent at 5am in my head, but now that I am sitting here banging on the keys it's so difficult to articulate all the thoughts and feelings.... because life doesn't always make sense and sometimes its more difficult than others to reconcile a world of things we don't understand. 

      All that to say, after two years of seeing God do more than we could have asked or imagined we begin the process of grieving and saying goodbye to a people that quickly became an intricate part of our lives, to a sea of beautiful faces that we called our church and our home. I don't know exactly how we got to this place, it actually doesn't make any sense to me and honestly I think at this point I would rather not know all the behind the scenes. But I know this for sure, when big things like this make no sense at all, GOD IS IN IT and we can trust Him. This Sunday is going to be the last Sunday of Doxology. I can't even wrap my mind around it.

       In the last two years I have seen God do so many beautiful things. He literally parted the seas in so many ways to even bring our family to Doxology. Then when we came we saw so much beauty unfold. God gave rest to some of the weary warriors that had been carrying a great load, he healed the broken hearted, restored faith, brought new growth, brought new people, brought unity, direction and so much life. Every Sunday morning when I stepped into our gathering place I knew that God had made me to love His people in that exact space and time, and even more powerful to me was that it felt like home to me. I knew that I belonged in that place and I knew every other person present belonged there right along with me. It's a beautiful and unique thing to have a space where you fit and a people that quickly become such an intricate part of your life in the most amazing way. Doxology, not the place, but the people are my home. It's the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye to something that you love with your whole entire heart. 

       I have never seen God love the church in such a tangible way as I saw him pour out His great love on Doxology.  The end of something beautiful by no means lessens the value and impact of the journey along the way. God has done beautiful, eternal, kingdom work in all of us and through all of us. Even as we spread out through the city, all the seeds that have been planted, watered and placed in the light of the sun through the investment of our lives will continue to grow. As what we have all worked so hard to build is coming to an end and moving us forward in a new direction, let us not lose sight of the big picture, the kingdom picture. Let's keep celebrating all the wins, every victory, every miracle, every sweet moment and all the time we have spent living life along side each other and making space for the Kingdom of heaven to touch Corvallis in a unique way that only we could. It has been the most beautiful adventure. 

        So, for those of us who are feeling quite unsettled, confused and unanchored at the moment, let's keep our eyes fixed on the unwavering truth of God's word. God is sovereign. Nothing and no one slips through His fingers or goes unseen. We are the apple of His eye, we are that essential and completely seen and known by Him. Even when nothing makes sense, God is in control. Even when our hopes and dreams play out differently than we expect, God is good, He is steady, He never changes, He is unwavering and He is always working in us and all around us for our good. It's hard to see that in the dark and uncertain moments, but it is certainly true. God is always at work. The most beautiful kind of faith is the one that leaps towards Him when there is nowhere else to land. 

       David and I are not the same people we were when we came to this place two years ago. Our time here in Corvallis with our Dox family has left an eternal and lasting mark on us. The great work He began, He will see through, in His powerful and perfect way. Every moment that Doxology built His kingdom here on earth will not come back empty or void. It's all for His glory and fame. It was an absolute and magnificent honor to be a part of His work in this place. How the Lord wove our hearts together as we built His kingdom together is eternal. 

      His kingdom come, His will be done in our hearts, in our homes, in Doxology, in Corvallis... and on earth as it is in heaven.  

Psalm 145:13 "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does."