H O P E

The longing or desire for something accompanied by the belief in the possibility of its occurrence.

Today is a day that I just really needed some hope.

Just because,
somedays we need to have a little confidence and trust
that the things we long for are possible.



     I used to despise hiking. My parents used to take me on a heck of hard hikes in the blazing heat when we lived in Portugal and let me tell you something... when you are a 14 year old girl, who loves to be socializing with her friends, tanning at the beach, playing volleyball and putting on makeup/painting your nails, NO view is worth spending your entire day trekking up a mountain under the scorching sun.

     Now, however, I have a very full life and really amazing, adventurous and noisy, needy children... and a hike is always a good idea! We live five minutes away from one of the most beautiful places I have ever hiked. It has become my favorite place in the world. I go there to gather my thoughts, to pray, and to process. My grandma gave me a book last year and it just so happened to be about the first settlers in Corvallis who came across the Oregon trail from the east to claim land and start new lives. I completely fell in love with this place before I even got here! When doing a little historical digging of my own, I learned that the property we bought and the place that I hike are the original homesteads and settlements of the amazing families I read about. As I walk through the forrest, cross over bubbling little soap creek, and look up at the giant trees on my adventures, I absolutely love that I am not the first or last person to walk those trails. I am just one of many. I am a part of something that is greater than myself. Those massive trees have been there long before I came into this world and will outlive me as well. My life seems small, in a good way, when I am in the forrest.
I get lost in that beautiful place.

     Now that winter has passed, all along the trail little tiny shoots of new life are springing up out of the ground. It amazes me how such towering and magnificent things grow from of such tiny, delicate, little beginnings. When the first bit of fragile green gently pokes up from the earth, that is hope to me.   I admire it in the forest, but hope looks even more beautiful when it springs up through the rocky ground of our hearts.

     The most beautiful thing about hope is that the condition of our heart does not have to be perfect for it to grow. Sometimes hope appears in the darkest, hardest places of our hearts. One beam of God's light can shine through the darkness onto the rough ground and that is all it takes for us to begin to see a little bit of hope peak up from the soil. Hope is not circumstantial, it is not a fleeting glimmer of something false or temporary, it is something we can count on. "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf." Hebrews 6:19-20a

I love that.

     WITH JESUS, we have hope NO MATTER WHAT. Hope is an anchor for our soul. That means that no matter how high the waves, how fierce the storm, how strong the current; hope keeps us from being tossed all about, hope holds us fast, keeps us from drifting; with hope we are immovable. With that kind of hope we are not brought down by our current circumstances or situations, no matter what comes our way, we can look to the future and believe that the things we dream of, aspire to be and long for are possible. Hope is a beautiful thing it gives us something beautiful, beyond ourselves to live for.

That's what I needed to remember today.

My hope is in the Lord and I am just where I belong;
Anchored to Him.
   

The Exchange

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." 1 John 4:18a

This is kind of a sweet time of celebration for the Libby family. We have been officially a part of Doxology for over a year now and it has been one of the sweetest journeys the Lord has taken our family on. Every single day we are thankful for where He has brought us and what He is doing in our lives, in our home and in our beloved church family here in Corvallis. It truly feels like home in the most comforting, all encompassing and deeply beautiful sense of the word. For me to feel at home like this after moving 28ish times in my life is nothing short of a miracle, but here I am... at home. My heart is full in this lovely place as I look around daily and see with my own eyes just a glimpse of what the Lord is so faithfully and powerfully doing around me and in the depths of my own heart. 

When we moved to Corvallis God provided for us in miraculous ways. Opening doors that only He could have opened and leading us into His plan for our lives one step at a time. One of the miracles that He provided was our home, here in the woods, in a place of divine and glorious peace. When we bought this home we knew that it was God's home. We didn't know exactly how He would use it, but we bought it with open hands and hearts and an excitable willingness to be a part of whatever plans He had for it. It's been amazing to see how He has filled our home. Every day in this home is a new adventure. 

At this moment we have the privilege of living with some of our dearest friends, who have also partnered in ministry and life with us in Corvallis and we have a full full full full home. Living life with these amazing individuals has made this season of my life one of the sweetest. It has also been a safe and beautiful place for God to dig up some roots in my heart and begin to plant a new crop, one that is already yielding His fruit. Nothing holds up a mirror to your heart quite like living in community with others. It has given me an opportunity to see my heart in a truer way and I am so thankful. It's a beautiful kind of accountability. Being the ugliest version of myself in hard moments isn't the best option. God is using this time to transform my heart and to create new patterns and new responses to life and the messiness of it. Which I am forever grateful for, He is doing a new work in me. 

One of the areas that He has faithfully been transforming is my fear.

Fear for my family

Fear of provision

Fear of failure

Fear of loneliness

Fear of not being loved in return

Fear of not being enough

Fear of not being accepted

Fear of not being known and valued.

Fear has planted lots of little roots in my heart. 

Over the last 6 years God has been slowly exposing and uprooting those fears. 

They are hard for me to see sometimes because I tend to hide them behind walls, burry them deep, and sometimes I even just treat the fruit that comes from my fears like pride, insecurity, anxiety, sadness... instead of doing the work required to pull the plant up roots and all. 

What God is teaching me is this:

When fears in my heart are exposed it is an opportunity to grow my faith and gain freedom. 

It's an exchange. Fear for freedom. But it takes me believing that what God has for me is greater than what I am clinging to. It takes faith for me to believe that He can change me, that His process is better than the one I've been using my whole life. Just because something is your natural response to life and maybe has been your whole life, does not mean it's the right or best one. It's time to change the pattern. 

Start a new one. 

Instead of filtering things through your fears, filter them through the victories you've won through the transforming power of the Spirit and the ground you've gained one step at a time. As we lay new soil in our hearts, He plants new seeds and the fruit in our lives looks less like insecurity, pride, fear... and looks a lot more like grace, hope, love, kindness, mercy, confidence and joy. 

We can change our thought patterns. It looks a little like this for me...

Instead of living in fear wondering if I am accepted by others, I am going to choose to basque in the freedom that comes from knowing full well and  believing whole heartedly that I am accepted fully by God through Jesus. That is my truth. When I pluck out the root of fear of acceptance and allow the Lord to plant the fully accepted seed in my heart, it will start to grow, flourish and bear fruit for the kingdom that blesses and ministers to others. 

It frees me from constantly looking inward and equips me and fills me to bless outwardly.

Perfect love; which is the pure and powerful and beautiful love of God, drives out fear. 

Slowly, one root at a time, God is overcoming my fears... every single one, with His extravagant, lavish love. His faithfulness in filling my heart and soul with His healing, restoration and new life, new fruit and immeasurable love gives me confidence to pull up the next fear and trust Him more. It's a process, and it's taking time. But I can see that God is doing a good thing, I am starting to see the fruit of my labor and I would never want to go back to the person I was before Him. This new life, new creation, new love and sweet freedom that He grows in me as I keep digging, is worth the pain of uprooting the old. The exchange is worth it for me.