As Valentines Day approaches, I can't help but laugh a little at the stark difference between the commercialized version of love and the one I have grown to know to be true. It's a little less pink, completely free of horrible waxy chocolates in a heart shaped box, and not at all as glamorous as glass slippers and a pumpkin carriage...a lot more flawed, quite vulnerable, and much more work....less like a Disney movie and a little more like climbing a mountain, a steep, rugged mountain. It may be the most wonderful adventure you get to be a part of in life, it has been for me, no doubt! However, it requires a deep trust and dependence in your spouse. The difficulty of the climb at times may expose your flaws and weaknesses but the intimacy gained, the heights reached, the sunsets seen along the trek and the victories shared along the way...PRICELESS! I have never had more love in my heart for my husband of 11 and a half years than I do now! When I think about real love, this is what I have grown to know as truth.TRUE LOVE...
1. Gives grace. It doesn't knit pick. Just like love covers a multitude of sins, a grace filled love covers a multitude of annoyances. Love extends grace especially when it is undeserved, that is what makes it especially beautiful and life giving!
2. Tells the truth even when it hurts. Love is honest. Truth- however hard, painful and torturous it may be to say out loud to your spouse, opens the door to the most intimate conversations and moments in marriage. Love trusts.
3. Is a safe place for truth to be told. No one is perfect. Choose to be the refuge for your spouse when they fail, sin and make mistakes. Love is willing to listen kindly, patiently and gently to the vulnerable and possibly hurtful truths. When a spouse hears us, forgives us and loves us with the full knowledge of our flaws, imperfections and sins that is the truest, sweetest kind of love. It's the kind of love that penetrates the most transparent and raw part of your being.
4. Is quick to forgive. Love doesn't let a person off the hook, conversations must be had, truth must be told, apologies must be said, and even if they are not said, we must be forgiving. Forgiving quickly prevents any bitterness or unnecessary anger from taking root in a persons heart and mind. A forgiving love is a selfless and brave kind of love that extends peace and can soften a hardened heart. Forgiveness is a choice. Not a feeling.
5. Is committed. David and I have never ever said the "D" word. Divorce is never threatened and never even on the table for discussions. We both agreed to that the first year of our marriage. We have had difficult seasons, but our commitment to each other through life, through trials, through thick and thin was a way of choosing and proving our love. Not just our love to each other but our love and devotion to the Lord. More than anything in life David and I are committed to loving and obeying God. We want to please Him and that just strengthens our commitment to each other. Love perseveres. Working through the difficult things has brought such a depth and richness to our marriage. Persevering has only strengthened our bond and our love.
6. Believes the best. No matter what is happening in the Libby home, even if David and I disagree about something, I know that he has my back, his intentions are good and he wants what is best for me. That opens up good, honest discussion, even when our opinions and ideas are different. I don't have to constantly defend myself or take up my cause. We are a team. It takes away all "me vs. him" and brings hope to every situation we face. Love always hopes. When love believes the best about my husband, he wants to be the best. And it's the same for me. When David gives me the benefit of the doubt, when he trusts that I have his back, when he believes the best in me, I desire to be the absolute best I can be for him.
7. Desires to know and understand all the intricacies of the one they love. True love never stops observing, learning and growing. Iron sharpens iron. The better you know your spouse, the better you know how to equip, respond, share and love in the most practical, understanding and romantic ways.
8. Laughs and doesn't take oneself too seriously. This was hard for me. I took myself far too serious for far too long. Laugh together as much as you can! When I laugh with David, even at my own expense it brings SO much joy to our marriage. Be adventurous, spontaneous, flexible and have fun together. Being married to your best friend is the best. EVER.
9. Is purposeful. Love seeks to bless, honor and lavish.
10. Seeks the Lord's best for yourself and your spouse. This is the most important one! Pray together, read God's Word together and on your own. The more you know God and love God the richer your love for others becomes, and your family should be the greatest beneficiaries of this deep, unconditional, beautiful, bright, miraculous and supernatural kind of love.
Love conquers all.
David, I have never known love like this. Your love has enriched my life in every way. It has painted a beautiful picture for me of Jesus' love. I can understand His love in a deeper and truer way because of the things we have walked through in life together. You are the most amazing person I have ever known and I am blessed beyond words to be living this adventure with you. Thank you for lavishing your love on me every day, for the faithfulness, selflessness and grace you show me. Your love has changed my life forever and given me the freedom to be who God created me to be.
I love you truly, deeply and madly. -Rachel
