workman approved

   Last night I finally got Sunday down, and was gearing up for some "me" time....I look forward to the evening where I have nothing to do, especially after busy days with the kids. I usually watch 48 hours Investigates on Saturday nights(I know, I am such a grandma), but I had already seen that episode. So I put on the next episode of my most recent BBC saga...but there was no volume, so I turned it off too and settled into the green lazy boy that I inherited from my sweet Grandma Great. One of my favorite places in the world. 

   As I got all comfy cozy I heard the Lord saying "Come spend some time with me." in such a sweet and tender voice. I couldn't resist. I got out my old Bible from when I was in Middle school. I love reading it because it's all highlighted and I get to see all the things that were significant to me then and things the Lord impressed on my heart as I was learning and growing up in Him. I have been reading through the Timothy's and opened up to 2 Timothy in great expectation to hear from the Lord. AND...He never disappoints. There in the quiet, with no distractions, nothing drowning out His voice He met me. 

    I love that God cares about me as a whole. My complete character... and he cares more about my character than my comfort. But, the way He speaks to me through His Word is so loving that I want to obey what He says. And even if it hits a nerve, and it hurts, it's ok, because I know that He can restore me, I know that He can heal me, I know He can correct any patterns of behavior in my life that need correction and I find such comfort in that - it pushes me to persevere in my growth. 

    I don't know about you, but sometimes I view sins on a scale, these ones - not so bad - those ones - get ready for hell... I know that all sin is sin to God period. But changing my mindset is a more difficult thing. Some sins are easily justifiable, those ones are the dangerous ones...they too separate us from God. I feel like God has been doing such a sweet and gentle work in me. I really want to have such perfect intimacy with Him that I truly desire to make every effort I can to please Him and to be a worthy of Him. Of coarse I will fail. I am human. But my view is different. Instead of justifying the little things and just "doing enough to get by"...I deeply desire to please Him with my thoughts, my words and my actions. 

     So as I read 2 Timothy 2:14-26 The Lord gently reaffirmed me and encouraged me in the ways I have already been convicted this year and strived to change, but also reminded me to press on...I am not quite there yet...I truly want to be a workman approved by God and the Lord's servant in every way. So here are the standards in those 12 verses... brace yourself....

 - Don't quarrel about words, its of no value and ruins those who listen

 - Avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly

 - Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness

 - Flee from evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace...

 - Don't have anything to do with stupid and foolish arguments because you know they produce quarrels

 - And the Lord's servant must not quarrel, instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

   That is what the Lord requires, with good reason, it makes us a light in the dark, credible to believers and non believers and faithful in the small things. I had never thought about not quarreling about words. My husband has been so great in helping me with that this year. I am big about justice and I also am quite good at building cases against people based the words they say. Someone says something that hurts me and there you go, I have a case. But, David has taught me not to focus on the words being said, but to see the big picture and listen to what the intent of heart is.  It has completely changed my perspective as I interact with people in ministry.

    I grew up somehow believing that if what I was saying was true, then it wasn't gossip....but truth is if it isn't edifying to those who hear it, if it's not building others up and encouraging them in Christ....then my friend, it is not worth saying. Gossip destroys reputations, separates close friends, breaks trust, and does a number on the unity in the church.  Always a good reminder. Godless chatter is no small sin, it separates us from others and from God.

    The part in the those verses that spoke most to me heart was 2 Timothy 2:24 " And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." Not resentful. That's a tough one for me. Especially when the wound is deep. Resentful- to be bitter, to show displeasure from insult or injury, angered or annoyed because of something done to you. Does that cover enough bases? 

     I can work on my words and actions and do my best to honor and please the Lord... I can also forgive others when I have been wronged with the Lord's great help....but to not be resentful is like forgiving and then always keeping my heart in check. Not allowing the wrong to ever effect how I view or interact with that person...never holding it against them...ever. That is true forgiveness, it is also a huge sacrifice sometimes. But, it is what we are called to do. SO, even though it costs me greatly, even though it is completely selfless (and unfair)....I need to do it...Just like Jesus did it.  And, thankfully I can do it too with His power alive and at work in me. 

   I don't want to live with the attitude of "doing enough to get by"...I want to be a workman approved by God everyday, able to do whatever he asks me to do. A servant doing all I can for the One who has given everything for me. In my frail, human, sinful state, giving all of my life seems to be the least I can do.

Oregon Garden love

  Yesterday I got to go to Oregon Garden with Elijah and his class. I just love how fun, sweet, thoughtful and silly he can be. We had a great time together!

   It was actually extra special because my niece Hailey and Elijah are in the same class! So they got to be in the same group and my sister and i were able to chaperon their group together! I love that we got to spend the day together. Watching Hailey and Elijah interact together is so sweet. They are 2 weeks apart and have always played so well together and loved each other so much. They crawled, walked and talked right next to each other. Watching them together has been one of may favorite things about growing my family. I have loved the support, wisdom and advice that I get from my sister Connie, and I have loved watching our kids learn together, play together and form these sweet and precious bonds. They all love each other SO much.

    Yesterday Elijah and Hailey walked through the garden together, talking away, laughing, and just having the best time. They were so silly sometimes, goofy, but also very interested in everything around and working hard to be responsible co-leaders.

 









 

 
       My favorite part of the day was when we got off the bus and the kids started walking back to their class. Elijah ran over and gave me a big hug and then kept turning back and waving then giving me the I LOVE YOU sign over and over again (but discreetly  of coarse, so his friends wouldn't see). Made my heart so happy that even though he is growing into such a sweet little man, he still cares so much for his mama. Oh how I love that boy.

sustained

So, two nights now with NO sleep! Normally if I get less then 7 hours I am a super grouch OR completely silent in the morning and only ready for real conversation at about 10ish...I thought that as I got older, getting up in the morning would get easier...but this is not the case for me...I still love to stay up late and have the hardest time rolling out of bed in the morning....

It always seems that when David goes away Satan works especially hard to attack me here on the home front! This time was no exception. As soon as he drove away Sunday's fever started to rise....She was awake all night...and so was I. Thank heavens my dear  friend Teresa introduced me to some great BBC dramas that kept her and I both entertained as I tried to rock her back to sleep. But she didn't go back to sleep til 5am and then my other kids got up! ha ha ha! This is my luck! You have no idea how classic this is for the Libby home! Normally the lack of sleep would turn me into a bear...ugly, furry with a furious growl...and bite...ha ha ha But God is good and He is faithful. He keeps His promises despite our circumstance.  2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness" This is true. i can vouch for it. I am proof that God gives us all we need to live godly lives despite ourselves!

The kids and i suited up w the fruit of the spirit on our drive to school. We all prayed that the Lord would fill us with his Holy Spirit and the fruit that He brings to our lives...love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness and self control...and guess what?! He did. We faced some trials that evening and God graciously gave me all I needed to handle them with kindness, love and wisdom. Which is a complete miracle...considering how I would have normally responded on my own...with no sleep...We had a great evening together and I am SO thankful!

this was at triangle lake this summer, but exactly what my floor looked like. 

Night number two....also a complete disaster....when Sunday wasn't awake Lily was and she woke up everyone!!! So we had a giant sleep over! All four kids in my room. Sounds delightful, precious and sweet....but I am pretty sure no one got any sleep after 3 am...especially me. So, once again I feel like the Lord is sustaining me beyond what my flesh is capable of. And I am so thankful! It's in times like these when I see His power at work in my everyday life and what a difference it makes!!! I get a front row seat to what he is doing in my kids hearts and lives too. That just fuels my desire to be more like Him and to allow Him to continually be transforming me into His likeness....if my kids see it in me, I know they will want it in their own lives as well! I love being able to teach them that God cares about even the little things, He cares so deeply for us and our character. He even uses sleepless nights to teach me more about who He is and the power He has to sustain undeserving, little me. I may be a sleepy mama bear but I am a blessed one. 

How could I not feel blessed, I get to spend the day looking at this face!

Seasons

As many of my friends know, the fall is my FAVORITE season! I love all the colorful leaves, the fresh, crisp air, pumpkin spice lattes and warm cozy sweatshirts. I love everything about it. This fall, three of my four kids are in school. Elijah - my very thoughtful, funny and smarter then me already son is now a big old third grader. Hope - my confident, independent, affectionate, fashionista daughter is now a full day first grader. AND my sweet, hilarious, crazy little Lily-Aunna is a Kindergartner.... I get to spend all day with my very wild, full of life, dancing, singing Sunday girl. Man alive time is flying by at a such rapid pace! This is a new season of life for me.

 I have walked through many seasons in the past... Full time work - trying to balance a new marriage and crazy long hours in a demanding job and then... surprise! Oh, we are having a baby!!!  Full to the brim of ministry seasons, where my calendar is bursting at the seems with events, meetings, people that the Lord puts in my path...and more sweet people.  Social seasons where my life has been full of precious friends and my time with them kept me sane, full and blessed. Baby seasons and all the changing - feeding - no sleeping that comes with those precious little ones. Seasons of complete insanity with three children under the age of four moving across the world and into a tiny two bedroom apartment....
and many many more.... I have grown, matured, been stretched, got a few bumps and bruises along the way...but the memories, all the laughter, joys and experiences in each and every season are priceless and worth everything they may have cost.

This fall God spoke very clearly to my heart about what He is calling me to do this season. This season for me is ALL about family.  Lily and Sunday still need me for all their daily needs... picking out their clothes, getting them dressed, getting their snacks, brushing their hair and teeth, bathing, cleaning their room....they need lots of hugs, band aids, comfort and care...pretty much everything. Which is a true delight, I love that aspect of Mommy hood....they need me and I feel accomplished and fulfilled in my ability to provide for all of it!  But...with Elijah and Hope getting older my job as their mother is transitioning. They are pretty independent, capable and enjoy being able to do a lot for themselves... It's nice for me because they both like to help with the younger two and I love seeing them growing up to be such confident, thoughtful and capable little beings. I love how our relationships have changed, even though they don't need me to feed them and change their diapers, I am still the center of their world and they need me in a million other ways.

I have been given this precious window of time to help them build a firm foundation, to shape their character,  to teach them who God is and how our relationship with Him is life changing in the day to day things of this world....Oh what an honor and privilege that I am absolutely loving! We have had so many great times and conversations. I love hearing their thoughts and ideas, their struggles and desires to do what is right! It takes a lot of time and energy for all those conversations to happen throughout the day, but God has given such a desire and joy in spending that time with them, investing in their little beings and learning about their personalities, thoughts and ideas.

some words that are my hope and encouragement in parenting these little lives:
"For we (my kids) are his workmanship created in Jesus Christ to do good works, which God prepared before hand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

"I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you (my kids) will carry it out to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 

my desire is that each of them will be...
"....like a tree planted by streams of water that yeilds fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." Pslam 1:3

that they will know God's love and be filled with Him...
"...Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith -  that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth, and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

and that they would not just believe it, but walk in it and shine His light in how they live their every day lives.
"Therefore as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving." Colossians 2:7

This is a little encouragement for me and my prayer for them! What I am investing in them now will grow in them and stay with them forever as they grow up to be the godly men and women God designed them to be!

This season has been a lot of hard work, four kids in four different stages is a lot to get a handle on. But, it is by far the most precious, most rewarding season yet. I live in continual prayer that the Lord will give me the wisdom I need to nurture, teach and guide my children as they are growing and becoming who God has made them to be. I feel so honored to be a part of His plan in their lives and will do my best to equip them to be confident, wise, loving, intellectual, lights in this world, even now when they are young. I am also just soaking up this precious time. I have already seen how fast they grow. I am gonna take all these sweet times and treasure them up, because I am well aware that this time is a gift. 

you know you are Mennonite when...

 Today I came in from a 20 minute jog, took off my beautiful hot pink Nike free's and socks... then I smelled my socks...don't judge....

David was like "ummm what are you doing?" 

I replied, "I only wore the socks for 20 minutes! I just wanted to see if i could wear them for my jog tomorrow."  

In absolute horror David shook his head, laughed at me for about five minutes, took 

the socks away from me and said "you can wash them, always wash them."

            You can take the girl 

out of the Mennonite, 

but you can't take the frugal Mennonite out of the girl! 

 ha ha

but seriously...do you know how much laundry I do with four kids!!!! Maybe I am just losing my mind.

Faith

   
     One of my favorite things is the sea. When we
lived in England we were so spoiled. Every morning
we woke up to the sound of seagulls in Hooe. That may annoy some people, but I loved it! We were a walk away from the water and we loved to sit up on the grassy hill at Jenny Cliff and watch all the sail boats, or stroll down the pier at Mt Batton... Elijah's favorite thing was paying a pound and taking the water taxi over to the Barbican for the best fish and chips in. this. world! Such fun memories of the sea.
    As much as I love watching the sea when it's calm and peaceful, there is also something fascinating about the sea in a storm. The waves tossing, toppling over and crashing so fiercely... is absolutely captivating. I could watch it all day. I sometimes feel like the stormy sea is a perfect metaphor for what is going on in my life. One moment I feel so strong, so confident, so capable of all that I have been called to do...then the smallest thing can happen and my confidence unravels...my strength turns to fear and all I can see are my inadequacies. How can my heart be so easily swayed? Every day I see more and more just how great my need is for a Savior. The second that I take my eyes off Jesus, I begin to drown.

    James 1:5-8 & 12 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him as God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." 
    In that moment of crises I have a choice. I can look up and seek the Lord for His wisdom and understanding and then trust and believe with faith that He will provide the wisdom that I need to handle the storm....OR I can look everywhere but Him, I can look at my inadequacy, my hurt feelings, my pain, my lack of wisdom, my lack of control over the storm and ride one wave after another...until I get to the first and best response...look up. I am gonna get there eventually, wouldn't it be better to just seek Him first...and prevent myself from flailing around and swallowing all that water in the meantime?
     God requires faith from us. Not just in the big things, in all the small things too. I may be able to manage the small things on my own, but what if I didn't just manage...but thrived. Every trial, big or small measures our faith. Our response to the trial either proves that we have faith, or we don't. When I am being tossed about by lifes trials, what is that saying about my faith? It's easy to have faith when everything in the world is right, but does it hold up when my world shatters? Our trials are opportunities to see our faith in action and to see God at work in every part of our lives!

       1 Peter 1:3b-9 "...According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while , if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith - more precious then gold that perishes though it is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." I love these verses for a number of reasons, but they really put things into perspective for me 1. The trials are temporary 2. God is using the trials to build my faith 3. The outcome of my faith is salvation - a little dose of eternal perspective and my trials aren't as big as I thought they were...because God is bigger.

       I have trials every day. Some days they are bigger than others... but there are opportunities every day for me to look up, ask God for wisdom and trust Him to give me all I need for what I am facing!  There are days that I fail and stress and fret and cry and get overwhelmed... and there are days when I look up all day, talk with God through it all, trust that He has got me in the palm of His hand and live my life accordingly... whether I fail for a day or do everything right, I don't stop trying, pressing in, reading his word and striving to have a faith that brings Him glory....especially through the storms! "And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall because it had been built on the rock." Matthew7:25

David, Elijah, Hopey and I at a castle right on the sea in Devon, England

        

Reflecting His glory

     Well...it's true, it's here... i am 30. Actually, 30 and a half now. I am officially old to my kids, just ask them. I use wrinkle cream. I can't eat whatever i want whenever I want...or at least I need to try and master some self control....and I need to make exercise more a part of my life just to maintain (a new concept to me)....my mom was right....I never believed her, I never thought my metabolism would change. But here we are and because of this I haven't made brownies in my house for over a month. Travesty.
       I look in the mirror and can see how i have changed. It's not always a bad thing. I had some real awkward stages growing up, so in many ways I am extremely grateful! I like the idea of having some years of experience, a little bit of wisdom, great memories to cherish, and more understanding. But i wonder...is my heart keeping up. If I hold up a mirror to my soul what do I see?
      I was reading in James today and something significant stood out to me like never before. James 1:22-25 "But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he looks like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." What has my response been when I have a glance of my reflection in its most natural state? Honestly, there are three different choices for me in that moment. 1 Hide the mirror and walk away, choosing to completely ignore what I have seen. 2 Put some makeup on, temporarily cover up what I don't want to see. 3 Take a good hard look, see what needs repair, and persevere in pursuing true inner beauty.
      1 and 2 are pretty easy for me to do. When I see sin that needs changing, weakness that needs strengthening or when God calls me to do something out of my comfort zone I can find a million excuses, I can justify my sin by comparing my actions to others, I can ignore His voice because it's not convenient for me right now. And lets be honest...to change is SO hard, takes real discipline, so much work and effort and perseverance....But my perspective has undergone a makeover. I used to be fine with a little sin in my life, a little gossip here, a little unforgiveness there...a little bitterness stowed away right next to my pride. Ouch, my reflection, not so beautiful next to God's holiness!
       I know in my mind what is good and right and true. I know what the Lord wants me to look like and what He wants me to DO....but I don't always do it. I had to stop thinking about what I needed to do and allow God's word to also penetrate my heart and flow out through my actions. What good is it if I just think about what needs to change? Sometimes our heart and emotions don't catch up with with what the Lord requires. It's hard to forgive, it's hard to chose grace instead of bitterness! What I have learned and what the Lord has proven over and over again is that I can't wait for my emotions to feel ok about the circumstance. I need to reach out, initiate love and grace and then by God's goodness and mercy my emotions catch up, and His peace is restored in my life...and that is beautiful.

      Transformation is hard, it's not easy for me to see my faults in the light of Christ. It's painful. But worth the work and effort of repentance, removal and restoration. The more time I spend with the Lord and see Him in His perfect holiness, righteousness and beautiful light the more my hearts cry is to be a reflection of Him! My deepest desire becomes to be right with Him and reflect His glory. 2 Corinthians 3:18 "We all with unveiled faces are reflecting the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit."  Praise God He is so faithfully transforming me into His image. My prayer is that this transformation never halts, pauses or ends. That through the process others may see His work alive and active in my life. AND that even my most natural reflection will be of His glory.
   

All things work out for good

 
  My precious Grandpa and Grandma Nightingale have been a huge support to David and I in ministry. They too served in full time ministry. They were missionaries to Ecuador and Brazil and then served in different pastorate positions in North America. My grandpa was a firecracker of a preacher, which came as a surprise to most people as he is a short, sweet, light hearted and friendly man. When he got behind the pulpit his passion and desire for the Lord's will in his life and in the lives of others came across profoundly. I loved watching him preach, so full of life, love and passion! I had never seen anyone pound the pulpit before! I also had never heard his booming voice like that! His enthusiasm was contagious and his words were so kind and full of love that you longed to hear the  message the Lord had given him to speak! I know the Lord used him greatly day in and day out as he so faithfully served Him.

    My grandma is a sweet kind, soft spoken, wise and godly woman. Always extremely hospitable, a phenomenal cook and certainly knows how to love others. She has a gentle, sweet voice- but all that she says carries an immense amount of weight. She speaks truth and love and wisdom faithfully. Whenever she speaks I make sure to pay close attention to what she has to say. She is very affectionate and loving and always makes people feel so special and like they belong.

     Together they raised 6 children, as the moved across the world sharing the gospel, encouraging and equipping the saints! They have so many amazing stories and have both lived such fruitful, faithful and full lives!
     I have so much love and admiration for them both and have felt so privileged to have them as loving grandparents and phenomenal advisers supporting us with wisdom in parenting an ministry. After retirement, they have been fierce and diligent prayer warriors, they reached out to their neighbors and and always told people about their experiences and the Lord's goodness in their lives.
 

      Today as I type this, I hold tight to all the precious memories, advice, wisdom and beautiful conversations we had together around the table as we ate all grandma's delicious meals and desserts! The way they both so tenderly loved each of my children, scooping them up in their arms, holding them tight! Grandpa would tell them short stories and jokes and grandma would whisper words of love and encouragement into their little ears. Elijah left a hand print on their dinning room mirror when he was 1.  All these years my grandma has diligently cleaned around it... the print is still there. My times with them have always been so precious, ever since I can remember.
       Both of my amazing grandparents are still living, but I am the only one who remembers the times we have shared. My grandpa has dementia and my grandma's alzheimers has  dramatically effected her in the last few months. It has been so sad to see them walk this road after living such faithful and adventurous lives. To see them being robbed of their brilliant minds is absolutely devastating. It makes me all the more grateful for all the questions I asked, time I spent,  and for all the wisdom and love they both so freely and generously gave me.

   


 Of our most recent visits the one that I will treasure forever is when we went up to surprise my grandma last year for her Birthday. It was the first time that my grandma met Sunday, two of my brothers we able to join us, and it was so precious for us all to be together for those few days!







     Oh how my grandma loved on my  babies. Sunday was content to be in her arms and it was SO priceless and perfect. At that time my grandpa's mind and memories were kind of hit or miss and it had been like that for awhile already. But much to my surprise and joy, when he had a moment of clarity, he made the effort to put each of my children up on his lap
one at a time. He talked to them by their names and said to every one of them,  "Do you love Jesus? I love Jesus too! AND I love you...." He said other things them as well, but ended each of his conversations with those three sentences. I will always remember that! What a gift for me to see that and for them each to have that special memory with him.

 
One of my most precious possessions is a little poem my grandpa Nightingale gave me just before David and I left for our time in England. He hand typed it on his typewriter and neatly cut the almost transparent, very thin paper so that the words had a tiny little border of white around them.

All things work out for good, we know

Such is God's great design.

He orders all our steps below

for purposes divine.

This is the faith that keeps me still,

No matter what the test,

And lets me glory in His will;

for well I know 'tis best

So now the future holds no fear;

God guards the work begun. 

And mortals are immortal here

until their work is done.

Some day the path He chose for me

will all be understood.

In heaven's clearer light I'll see

All things worked out for good.

I keep this poem safely tucked away in my Bible, inside a handwritten letter my grandma sent me full of her wise words and insight. I see them both every day and find such comfort in those words my grandpa wrote, not just for me now though... for him and grandma too.

He will wipe every tear

     I couldn't sleep  last night. Too much on my mind. After the unexpected and tragic loss of a family friend yesterday evening, I tossed and turned faced with the reality that death and life are sometimes separated only by an instant. When my sister had leukemia, it was a long process, we had time to grieve and tried to prepare ourselves for the devastating and unimaginable pain of death. But how does one even begin to do that? As a child I couldn't even grasp the reality of what that separation from Sarah would be like.Whether you expect it to come or whether a life is torn away from you unexpectedly, the pain is real, overwhelming, dark and deep. Unbearable. The only thing that eased my pain and brought me comfort was knowing that as a believer my sister and I would one day be reunited. Praise God! The light in this dark world, our only hope and deliverer. I will see Sarah again and I can find an incomprehensible joy and peace in that.

   It's the simplest thing that I have the hardest time getting my head around, that instant when a person goes from having life, breath, thoughts, dreams, hopes, ideas....and then it all vanishes. It's gone. I have often wondered what happens in that moment.... My sisters last moment on earth brings me so much comfort and expectation. It has eliminated my fear of death and brought me hope. Sarah was so weak, but with her last breath she sat up, reached up to heaven and said the name of Jesus. I believe she saw Him and stepped out of this life and into eternity with Him. No more pain, no more weakness, no more suffering. He was there in her last moment on this earth and ushered her into heaven.


   I still remember the pain in that season, it never goes way. BUT hope rises, and the expectation of joining her becomes greater then the pain. The good that has come from this sober reminder of how fragile and short life truly is...Today I have held my kids closer, told them I love them more, made the most of the moments i would have taken for granted.... and I pray I can continue to do so. I want to live this life in all its fullness, making the most of every day and every opportunity. "Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" James 4:14 Unfortunately, that's the reality in this world, complete uncertainty. The only response that can provide comfort and strength is:

 Psalm 62: 5-8 "Find rest O my soul in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress I will not be shaken...he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Then I can turn my eyes upward wait expectantly, Revelation 21:3b-5a "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, I am making everything new!"

  Life is full of the unexpected and unpredictable but God never changes, His promises are true. No matter what we face in this world, when we believe in Jesus and trust Him as our Savior we are blessed with an unwavering HOPE....Jesus will step from this world into eternity with us...and we will all be HOME.

Rosy Posy and sweet Duffy clan, Just as I will see my sister, you will see yours and what a reunion that will be! Love you forever.

Nothing like a Daddy's LOVE

      Last night Hope couldn't sleep so we let her make a bed on the couch outside of our room. At 1 in the morning I woke up because I heard her crying. Before I could even get up David ran over to her, wrapped his arms around her and was talking to her in his comforting sweet way. To my children there is nothing in this world like their father, his love, his voice, his affection and his approval. He provides all they need, they feel safe in his presence and love to bring him delight. As David rocked Hope back to sleep last night I couldn't help but be grateful that my husband is painting such a beautiful picture for them of what their heavenly Father's love is like.
       Sometimes I forget just how much He loves me and how that sweet Fatherly love applies to my everyday life. He loves me, protects me, provides for me, my sin hurts Him, my obedience brings Him joy and His desire is that my life will be full of goodness and love with Him forever.
       I used to work in a nursing home in the alzheimer and dementia ward. I got very close to some of the residents and learned so many valuable lessons from them. One of my favorite ladies was a spicy little being. She was about 5 feet tall, had wild curly white hair and a high pitched voice that could be heard from the end of the hall. She had these golden rimmed glasses that she pushed up the bridge of her nose after ever third shuffle and her outfits were always mismatched and very colorful. Many of the nurses didn't like her very much, she demanded your attention in screeching tones and expected unlimited amounts of your time. She was very very messy. She had hoarded so many books and papers that maneuvering around her little apartment was difficult. Despite all of that I fell in love with her sweet wrinkly little face.
      Right off the bat I found out that we had something in common. She was also a believer...and had grown up in a Mennonite home...I was her instant new best friend. I remember clearly putting her to bed for the first time. I got her in her jammies, cleaned her dentures, put her glasses on her little side table and pulled the blankets up over her. As soon as her head hit the pillow she started screaming out in the shrillest voice i had ever heard Psalm 23

"The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

     Tears were streaming down her cheeks. It was one of the most beautiful and precious things that the Lord has ever given me the privilege to see. She quickly transitioned into a Hymn..."His eye is on the sparrow and He watches over me..." From that point on we sang that hymn every night that I worked. And every single night with out exception she asked me if I knew Jesus... Whenever we talked about the Lord or sang hymns together her entire countenance softened. She may have been wild and feisty in her old age, but what an amazing testimony she left. She was fiercely dedicated to her Heavenly Father and talked to Him all the time, in her distress, her anger, her bursts of joy...she knew what His love was and she basked in her role as His child. It was so beautiful and unforgettable.
        As I read back over that so familiar Psalm I was reminded and blessed at what a perfect and powerful Father we have. He takes care of us, provides all we need. Leads us to restful places, He restores our souls, He guides us towards righteousness. Even when we are in our darkest places we have no need to fear anything because He is with us! He disciplines and protects us, He comforts us. He shows us love and honor in the presence of those who despise us, He anoints us, fills our cups to overflowing....He desires for goodness, love and His presence to be with us forever!!!! Can we just take a moment and bask in the fact that we are Children of the Almighty God!!!! Just like my sweet little old lady turned her face up to her Father and allowed Him to be all she ever needed, allowed his light to shine on her face, in her heart and in her life...Let's look up too and be changed....
        Once I realize the safety, security, provision, protection, love, comfort and life that my Heavenly Father gives me I can freely love Him, serve Him, obey Him, courageously raise my children in this world to do the same. I can be a brave, joyful, trusting child no matter what my Father asks me to do.
      I don't know what season you are in. You may be in the best season of your life, if so make your daddy proud share your joy, blessings, light and love with everyone around you! Enjoy the season and soak up the grace. If this is a dry season and you feel like you are in the desert in every way, open up God's Word, study it, meditate on it and let His springs of living water and the truth of His Word restore your soul!!! If you are in the middle of a horrible storm and the wind and waves are beating unmercifully at your fragile heart, run into His arms, take refuge in Him! God your Father will take care of you, comfort you, He has even this in the palm of His hand. Just as David scoops my babies up in His arms and they can rest regardless of whats happening around them, let your Heavenly Father be the same to you... Find your strength and courage in Him and face life knowing that God is with you in the battle. If you have turned away and gone astray....it's never too late, He is waiting for you with open arms...come home, repent, obey and know a deep and true endless love and forgiveness that you'll never forget. Wherever you are. He is there.