This summer David and I celebrated 11 years of marriage! It's amazing when we look back at who we were 11 years ago and who we are today. Our years together have grown us into who we are now. Through the ups and the downs God has used our marriage to sharpen and transform us. Living life together in such close proximity through the years, raising our four children together and moving across the face of the planet twice has brought out the best and the worst in us. Given the opportunity to do it all again....I would chose this life, my man, our kids and every move a thousand times.Our marriage has been like a mirror for me. It has allowed me to see the clearest, purest and most honest reflection of myself and all that is in me. It has made me painfully aware of my sin, my default responses and my flaws.....BUT it has also shown me my strengths at a capacity that I never knew I had. God has used every bit of the process to make me more like Him. Every time an imperfection rises to the surface, He gives me the strength, wisdom and direction I need to grow and change so that I look more like Him in that area of my life. I am certain that this is going to be a life long process for me and I am grateful that the Lord God Almighty only reveals what I can handle, when I can handle it. Changing life long patterns of pride, bitterness, denial, insecurity... and the list goes on.....takes a lot of work and perseverance and dependence on the Lord. It is so worth every moment of discipline and dependence, because I have seen Him transform my life, He is still transforming my life and hopefully won't ever give up on me!
As I think about how much I have grown and changed over the last 11 years one thing is certain. The Lord has used my husband more than anyone else in this life to show me His love, goodness, grace, forgiveness, devotion and joy. David has pointed me to Jesus over and over again. He has been my closest friend, confidant and love. What I admire about David most is that he has not just told me what God's Word says about living....but he strives to live it! My love and complete admiration for my husband has only grown over the years as I have seen him walk so faithfully, love so unconditionally and continually strive to know Jesus more and live more like Him. David's walk with the Lord and how that has translated into his love for me and the kids has transformed my life. I have been the beneficiary of such a pure and priceless love. And because of how my husband loves me, I understand God's love in a way I never knew before.
Now as a grown-upish woman, looking back at when David and I started our journey together, I can see I didn't even know I needed being rescued, but I did. I was so proud, independent and guarded. My walls not only effected our relationship, but it also kept me from depending on the Lord and growing in Him as well. It was through the ups and downs of marriage and David's constant love for me that my heart began to soften and I longed for change that only Jesus could bring. As I look back at who I was 11 years ago rittled with insecurity, defensive and guarded... and now who I am today - secure, confident in the love of my Savior, humbled by His love and grace and able to share it with others , a little older, a little wiser and beyond words grateful for the life He has blessed me with and the people in it. I praise the Lord that He has transformed me and that He is still doing a work in me. I am overwhelmed that He would give me such an amazing man, who has stood by me all these years, loved me unconditionally and walked every road with me with insurmountable strength, patience and grace. I have never met anyone like my husband. His love for the Lord and love for me has captivated my heart. I have found the one my soul loves.
What has made our marriage what it is today.... Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. He makes all the difference. He is the only thing that can satisfy the longing in your soul and mine. He is the only thing that can complete you, fill you, love you fully the way you long to be loved and the only one that can completely know you the way you desire to be fully known. What I have learned in 11 years is that with out Jesus in my day to day I put those expectations of David. There is no way he can meet them. More than anything in the world, David and I need Jesus and strive to live our lives to bring Him glory. When we are pressing into Him, trusting Him and allowing Him to grow us and change us, it frees us both up to love each other with no expectations or demands. Living a life together, devoted to God, His plan and purpose for our lives and growing together along the way...that is better than happily ever after.
