workman approved

   Last night I finally got Sunday down, and was gearing up for some "me" time....I look forward to the evening where I have nothing to do, especially after busy days with the kids. I usually watch 48 hours Investigates on Saturday nights(I know, I am such a grandma), but I had already seen that episode. So I put on the next episode of my most recent BBC saga...but there was no volume, so I turned it off too and settled into the green lazy boy that I inherited from my sweet Grandma Great. One of my favorite places in the world. 

   As I got all comfy cozy I heard the Lord saying "Come spend some time with me." in such a sweet and tender voice. I couldn't resist. I got out my old Bible from when I was in Middle school. I love reading it because it's all highlighted and I get to see all the things that were significant to me then and things the Lord impressed on my heart as I was learning and growing up in Him. I have been reading through the Timothy's and opened up to 2 Timothy in great expectation to hear from the Lord. AND...He never disappoints. There in the quiet, with no distractions, nothing drowning out His voice He met me. 

    I love that God cares about me as a whole. My complete character... and he cares more about my character than my comfort. But, the way He speaks to me through His Word is so loving that I want to obey what He says. And even if it hits a nerve, and it hurts, it's ok, because I know that He can restore me, I know that He can heal me, I know He can correct any patterns of behavior in my life that need correction and I find such comfort in that - it pushes me to persevere in my growth. 

    I don't know about you, but sometimes I view sins on a scale, these ones - not so bad - those ones - get ready for hell... I know that all sin is sin to God period. But changing my mindset is a more difficult thing. Some sins are easily justifiable, those ones are the dangerous ones...they too separate us from God. I feel like God has been doing such a sweet and gentle work in me. I really want to have such perfect intimacy with Him that I truly desire to make every effort I can to please Him and to be a worthy of Him. Of coarse I will fail. I am human. But my view is different. Instead of justifying the little things and just "doing enough to get by"...I deeply desire to please Him with my thoughts, my words and my actions. 

     So as I read 2 Timothy 2:14-26 The Lord gently reaffirmed me and encouraged me in the ways I have already been convicted this year and strived to change, but also reminded me to press on...I am not quite there yet...I truly want to be a workman approved by God and the Lord's servant in every way. So here are the standards in those 12 verses... brace yourself....

 - Don't quarrel about words, its of no value and ruins those who listen

 - Avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly

 - Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness

 - Flee from evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace...

 - Don't have anything to do with stupid and foolish arguments because you know they produce quarrels

 - And the Lord's servant must not quarrel, instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

   That is what the Lord requires, with good reason, it makes us a light in the dark, credible to believers and non believers and faithful in the small things. I had never thought about not quarreling about words. My husband has been so great in helping me with that this year. I am big about justice and I also am quite good at building cases against people based the words they say. Someone says something that hurts me and there you go, I have a case. But, David has taught me not to focus on the words being said, but to see the big picture and listen to what the intent of heart is.  It has completely changed my perspective as I interact with people in ministry.

    I grew up somehow believing that if what I was saying was true, then it wasn't gossip....but truth is if it isn't edifying to those who hear it, if it's not building others up and encouraging them in Christ....then my friend, it is not worth saying. Gossip destroys reputations, separates close friends, breaks trust, and does a number on the unity in the church.  Always a good reminder. Godless chatter is no small sin, it separates us from others and from God.

    The part in the those verses that spoke most to me heart was 2 Timothy 2:24 " And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." Not resentful. That's a tough one for me. Especially when the wound is deep. Resentful- to be bitter, to show displeasure from insult or injury, angered or annoyed because of something done to you. Does that cover enough bases? 

     I can work on my words and actions and do my best to honor and please the Lord... I can also forgive others when I have been wronged with the Lord's great help....but to not be resentful is like forgiving and then always keeping my heart in check. Not allowing the wrong to ever effect how I view or interact with that person...never holding it against them...ever. That is true forgiveness, it is also a huge sacrifice sometimes. But, it is what we are called to do. SO, even though it costs me greatly, even though it is completely selfless (and unfair)....I need to do it...Just like Jesus did it.  And, thankfully I can do it too with His power alive and at work in me. 

   I don't want to live with the attitude of "doing enough to get by"...I want to be a workman approved by God everyday, able to do whatever he asks me to do. A servant doing all I can for the One who has given everything for me. In my frail, human, sinful state, giving all of my life seems to be the least I can do.