Reflecting His glory

     Well...it's true, it's here... i am 30. Actually, 30 and a half now. I am officially old to my kids, just ask them. I use wrinkle cream. I can't eat whatever i want whenever I want...or at least I need to try and master some self control....and I need to make exercise more a part of my life just to maintain (a new concept to me)....my mom was right....I never believed her, I never thought my metabolism would change. But here we are and because of this I haven't made brownies in my house for over a month. Travesty.
       I look in the mirror and can see how i have changed. It's not always a bad thing. I had some real awkward stages growing up, so in many ways I am extremely grateful! I like the idea of having some years of experience, a little bit of wisdom, great memories to cherish, and more understanding. But i wonder...is my heart keeping up. If I hold up a mirror to my soul what do I see?
      I was reading in James today and something significant stood out to me like never before. James 1:22-25 "But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he looks like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." What has my response been when I have a glance of my reflection in its most natural state? Honestly, there are three different choices for me in that moment. 1 Hide the mirror and walk away, choosing to completely ignore what I have seen. 2 Put some makeup on, temporarily cover up what I don't want to see. 3 Take a good hard look, see what needs repair, and persevere in pursuing true inner beauty.
      1 and 2 are pretty easy for me to do. When I see sin that needs changing, weakness that needs strengthening or when God calls me to do something out of my comfort zone I can find a million excuses, I can justify my sin by comparing my actions to others, I can ignore His voice because it's not convenient for me right now. And lets be honest...to change is SO hard, takes real discipline, so much work and effort and perseverance....But my perspective has undergone a makeover. I used to be fine with a little sin in my life, a little gossip here, a little unforgiveness there...a little bitterness stowed away right next to my pride. Ouch, my reflection, not so beautiful next to God's holiness!
       I know in my mind what is good and right and true. I know what the Lord wants me to look like and what He wants me to DO....but I don't always do it. I had to stop thinking about what I needed to do and allow God's word to also penetrate my heart and flow out through my actions. What good is it if I just think about what needs to change? Sometimes our heart and emotions don't catch up with with what the Lord requires. It's hard to forgive, it's hard to chose grace instead of bitterness! What I have learned and what the Lord has proven over and over again is that I can't wait for my emotions to feel ok about the circumstance. I need to reach out, initiate love and grace and then by God's goodness and mercy my emotions catch up, and His peace is restored in my life...and that is beautiful.

      Transformation is hard, it's not easy for me to see my faults in the light of Christ. It's painful. But worth the work and effort of repentance, removal and restoration. The more time I spend with the Lord and see Him in His perfect holiness, righteousness and beautiful light the more my hearts cry is to be a reflection of Him! My deepest desire becomes to be right with Him and reflect His glory. 2 Corinthians 3:18 "We all with unveiled faces are reflecting the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit."  Praise God He is so faithfully transforming me into His image. My prayer is that this transformation never halts, pauses or ends. That through the process others may see His work alive and active in my life. AND that even my most natural reflection will be of His glory.