This week I have been overcome by the stark difference between how the world defines love and God's love. There has been a huge disconnect somewhere along the lines....what women in our society think true love is - is absolutely heart breaking. If only they truly knew God's love, their expectations would be higher, their motives would be purer, their self esteem would be greater and their confidence in something sweeter and much more beautiful then their appearance, apparel and others opinions...it could rest secure in God's love.
Not only is our view of love skewed. Our view of true beauty has also been immensely distorted. Women have become so consumed and wrapped up in their outward appearance, that in many cases it has taken priority to character, morality and inner beauty. Unfortunately, we will never be satisfied, content or at peace with who we are as women if we are not pleased with who we are at the core, who we are in the essence of our being.
It is Satan's specialty to take something beautiful that God created...something beautiful that God IS... and slightly twist it, turn it a little on it's head and use it to make us feel inadequate, unworthy, unfulfilled, and longing for something intangible and skewed. It robs us of knowing God's love in its fullness, and keeps us from being able to appreciate the beauty God created in each of us.
If you know me at all, you know that I love beauty and beautiful things. I love all things shiny and sparkly, I love fashion and make up and nail polish and frills....I love beauty. There is nothing wrong with that. It is how the Lord made me. I love to see the beauty in life and all that God made beautiful. There is nothing wrong with striving to have outer beauty....However, it is the icing on the cake...outer beauty is not the cake. Icing on a crappy cake is no delight. I truly desire to have an inner beauty that shines with the love, grace and compassion of Jesus. To cultivate and grow those things in my heart I always need to make sure that I am investing more in heart, mind and character than I am in anything else. I care most about being like Jesus. It's about the having the best cake, the frosting is just some extra goodness and freely delighting in what God has created.
As I raise my three little girls, who also love all things girly and beautiful, I have made a point to teach them and train them up to value and strive for inner beauty, integrity and godly character. I always compliment them on the good they do, the wonderful things I see in them that look like Jesus, the good choices they make and the attitudes of the heart. I am trying my best to give them a solid foundation in the Lord and set them up for success as they are growing up in a world that puts immense amounts of pressure on young girls and women to be beautiful by the worlds standards...and I pray with my whole heart that each of my girls will know God's love in such a deep and powerful way that they will never be fooled, swayed or compromise what they know as truth and fullness in Christ for the empty, selfish and superficial love this world offers.
The world has spoken loud and clear on the topics of love and beauty. It's everywhere, in magazines, in the media, movies, TV shows, books, celebrities, our public schools, peers....its hard to compete with the bombarding that is happening in our society! I have had the privilege of speaking with many young women 12 and up, women my age and older, about their struggles surrounding their desire for beauty and pursuit of love. These are just some of the beliefs that are being conveyed to us by our society...
-Beauty and appearance is of utmost importance. Your goal- To look like the women in the magazine.
-Your style, make up, how you dress and present yourself is what's gonna draw the men in.
-You can do anything for love. Compromise your morality, cheat, give yourself away, it will all be fine and worth it when your love is returned. Then you will live happily ever after.
-Sex = security
-Sex is always passionate, and perfect. It should always be like it is in the movies or you haven't got it goin' on.
-A mans true love will complete you
-All you need is love.
-Your personal happiness is far more important than commitment and working through the hard times.
There are so many lies about love and beauty that have greatly affected women of all ages in our society. The statistics in the U.S. are daunting and greatly suggest that these lies we believe are extremely costly.
- The Center of Disease Control has reported that by the age of twenty 3/4 of teens have had sex.
- About 820,000 teenage girls become pregnant each year - Teen Pregnancy Statistics
- Up to 24 million people suffer from an eating disorder in America - anad.org
- $40 Billion is spent on diet products each year in America
- $17 Billion is spent on make up annually by Americans
- Not to mention that depression and anxiety have touched the lives of over 12 million women in the U.S. according to Mental Health of America.
The world is speaking and girls and women in America are listening and choosing to strive to live by the worlds standards and expectations. The saddest part of it all is that the more we seek to live by the standards of this world the more empty, lonely, undesirable and unfulfilled we feel. Because we can't measure up to an airbrushed standard that isn't even real. We need to train our hearts and minds to tune out the world, as loud as it may be, and to listen intently to the quiet, still, truer than true voice that is whispering "I love you unconditionally, no matter what you have done, no matter what you will do, I know your heart, your thoughts, I know you in your inner being and I LOVE YOU. I made you just the way you are - and you are a true beauty, made in my image, made in my likeness, BEAUTIFUL. Embrace your beauty, live in confidence, and let the love that shines from within be what others find most appealing, attractive and definitive of who you are. Your character is what matters, it is gonna be all that matters when your earthly beauty fades. Start investing in it now and shine for me."
It is time to let God's truth, God's love for us, God's delight in us be the standard, be what we live by, and what we yearn for....Time to let God be enough. He is more than enough. He is all that we need as we seek approval, search for identity and long for love. He is the answer, the only answer that is enough, absolutely all we ever need. May Jesus in His goodness, perfection and grace free us from the lies that bind us. May He rescue us from the insecurities and unmet desires for love and acceptance that have held us captive. It's my prayer that our eyes and hearts can be opened so that we may deeply and truly see the love He has for us and the perfect beauty He sees in us.
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