To The Mama's

Motherhood. 

It's hard to even capture in words all that motherhood entails. It is the deepest kind of love and connection that I have ever experienced. When I held my son in my arms for the first time, I never knew such a powerful, immediate and all encompassing love could just instantaneously and completely take over my heart. I knew the first moment I laid eyes on him that I would give my life, my love and everything in me to nurture, protect and grow the tiny, awkward, helpless, perfect being wrapped up in my arms. Then when I eagerly awaited our second I wondered if it was even possible to love again so fully, and fiercely. Was it humanly possible to love this much again?... then came baby two, three, and four... and my great, vast love never ran out, it only grew. 

Motherhood has brought out the best of me, and also made me desperately aware of my inadequacies, weaknesses and flaws. With my whole heart I long to be the very best for my children in every way, I want to give them all the best and be everything they need. All the glory moments of motherhood that are very real, the wins, victories and triumphs have been hard earned. Behind the scenes there are countless imperfect moments, much life spent with little acknowledgment and often little thanks, seasons of sleepless nights, chaos, drama, sickness, fights and many tears....but I would in a heart beat   fight the good fight through every one of those seasons again and again to also experience all the beautiful and priceless moments of victory as a mother. All their wins are my wins. Motherhood is full of beautiful, joyful moments often paired right next to deep and real pain, hard work and self sacrifice. It's worth it. Every moment that you spend pouring into your children and teaching them is worth it.

Here's to the mama's.

To the mama that is exhausted, surrounded by laundry, dishes, and little ones. Living on little sleep, high demands and constant pouring out for little loves that depend on you to meet their basic needs in every way. Take a deep breath. I've been there. I almost lost my everlasting mind, with three babies 4 and under. I know the toll that the demands are taking on your mind, body and emotions. Know this, if I could go back in time, I would have never gotten up off the floor. I would have spent my life on the area rug playing cars, barbies and holding them close. I would have never let the wonder of their growing imaginations and bodies escape the focus of my vision. It flies by. It may seem now like the days are long and the nights are short, because they are. You may only speak to humans four and under all week long and crave everyday adult interaction and even forget what talking to another adult is like. During that season I can't even tell you how many times I asked an adult, without even thinking twice about it, if they had to go potty before going into the church service or before sitting down for a meal. I may or may not have cut up David's meat a few times while preparing his plate. I needed a clean house to not feel completely insane, but I wish that I would have intentionally simplified my life, and done dishes and a load of laundry every night after bed time or something, a slower pace of life and minimized routine that would have allowed me to just enjoy more moments of the insanity and glory of baby-toddler. A lot of life can happen later... for now, sit on the floor, hold your babies and literally watch them grow. Give yourself grace, so much grace as you pour yourself out. All the unseen things that you do to love and grow your children in this season of life are not a waste, they are building a strong foundation and a space in your home and in your kids lives for love and quality of character to grow and flourish, a safe place for them to fail and succeed. You are setting the tone, writing the melody of their life song with all that you do with your energy and time to love them well. 

To the mama that is in the throws of school age kids and all that crazy schedule entails. Girl. This season is so fun. Our kids are learning and growing into humans that are learning how to live, respond, relate, love and care for others. Our kids are watching us, and learning from us. They are learning their social skills and basic life skills not just from what we are teaching them with our words but in how we are living our lives. It is a season of reaping great harvest from all the seeds planted in the young years. It is also a busy season. Homework, sports, friends, church programs, and lots of sweet and important life moments and lots of emotions. This is the season where our priorities matter. How we arrange and prioritize our lives matter. How we live speaks louder than what we say. This summer I practiced living moment to moment. Making the most of every opportunity and every conversation, getting eye level with my kids and listening. It has changed the way I schedule things, the plans we've made and how we've done life. I realized that my kids care more about how much quality time we spend together then how many fun things we can pack into our lives. Overextension makes us all stressed. Too many good things can be no good at all. Simplify life. Take extra time to listen to what's important to your kids. Let there be empty space in your schedule and watch your kids fill it with creativity and restful moments. They need it, you need it. Do what works best for your unit. Care less about what everyone else is doing and care more about what you're teaching your kids by how you spend and manage your time. 

To the mama walking through puberty with your kids... Oh Lordy. Hold on tight. It's a wild ride. Ha ha. I'm just in the throws of it right now, and it is an adventure, full of emotion, deep conversations, teachable and tender moments. It's precious. These are formative times. It's when boundary lines are pushed, emotions are high and how we respond to it all IS EVERYTHING. Always, to the best of your ability keep boundary lines clear and immovable, it makes our kids feel safe and loved to know where the lines fall, even if they push up against them. Sometimes, it's our tender but firm pushback that makes them feel the most cared for. Secondly, and most importantly in my mind, as they fail, cry, get angry, have socially awkward moments, laugh 'til tears stream down their cheeks and goof around being hilariously funny...(sometimes all in a span of two solid minutes, God bless) always affirm and let them be certain of your unconditional and unwavering love for them. They will test it, and we must lavish it. Love is not mushy and weak, giving in to all the demands....it's strong, speaks truth in love and is a fierce unwavering, immovable, solid and dependable response. It's the kind of love that stoops down and wraps up our kids, no matter how they are feeling, acting, responding or overreacting in the moment. Love looks them straight in the eyes and says, "I've got you. We are in this together. I'm not going anywhere. We are on the same team, always. I promise. I care about your feelings, can you tell me what you're feeling? I will listen respectfully to you, then, can you please listen to my thoughts as well?" Love doesn't excuse bad behavior, it gets to the root of what is truly going on and takes time to engage, correct and teach through rough moments.  It's hard work, but so very deeply rewarding, I can't even tell you. This season has actually been one of my favorites. 

I don't have any practical advice for the next seasons of life. I am getting all the wisdom I can get for the next ages and stages from women I trust who have forged ahead before me and sought the Lord as they walked with their kids through the high school years into adulthood. I don't have experience, but I do have a deep respect and love for the seasons that many of my mama friends are walking through.

To the mama who spends her quiet time on her face before the Lord, praying for her children,
Your prayers do not fall on deaf ears. The God of the heavens, the Mighty One who Saves, hears your prayers, He loves the sound of your voice, He never tires of hearing your requests over and over again. He is always moving behind the scenes in ways we can and can't see. We may not always see answers, but God hears and moves on our behalf. Never stop bringing your requests before the Lord. Pray without ceasing. Your voice, your cries, your requests are precious, valuable, treasured and heard by a Sovereign God who can still move mountains, perform miracles and part seas. 

To the depleted mama who has nothing left to give, all your efforts, everything you give, the unseen, unappreciated and undervalued tasks, every single amount of love, time and energy that you expend is seen, counted, known fully and honored by your Heavenly Father, the God who sees. He sees YOU. Give yourself grace. Put on a movie for your kids, pour a bath, paint your nails and take a nap when they nap, order a pizza tonight instead of making a meal, hide in your closet or lock yourself in the bathroom and read the Word - do what you need to do to get FULL. Take care of yourself. By taking time for yourself to refill and recharge you ARE loving your children. The full and rested version of yourself can pour out so much more on your children. And know this, this season too shall pass. They all do.

To the mama grieving her empty nest, I can't even imagine. But I do know this, you have accomplished the task God gave you to do. The victory hurts, but it is a victory. Your children are grown, and living as adults in this crazy world, they might need counceling, but don't we all? You got them from A to B, kept them alive, fed, in school, and secure in your home, now they are capable, functioning adults. You did it, that's the goal right, it's kind if cruel how life works, but that is the goal, to teach our children how to navigate life without us. If your looking for something new to invest in, come along side us younger moms, teach us how to do it, help us prepare for the pain of letting go (if that is even a possible thing), walk us through it. We need you. And even though it looks different in a thousand ways, your adult children still need you. I still need my mama. The more available you can be, the more life you can continue to live alongside them and even just the knowledge that you are available and still there whenever they need you. That is a gift only you can give and a space that only you can fill. You can still be their biggest fan, fiercest advocate and a place where they know they belong in a broken and crazy world. Also, you can pray, pray, pray and prop your children up with wisdom, words of encouragement and... free babysitting. Best. Gift. EVER.

To the mothers, in all different seasons,

 You are strong (even when you don't feel strong), brave (even when you don't feel brave), you carry the burdens of every other being in your household, you work hard even when it's unseen, even when it goes unappreciated and unnoticed - you still work diligently because your task is a noble one, and your heart is knit to your task - to nurture, protect, teach and love. You breathe life and encouragement into the lungs of the next generation, you give them a foundation to stand on, hope for their future, and all the tools they need to succeed in life and to live in a way that will make our world a better place and shape our culture with powerful heavenly perspective. So today I'm taking a moment to say thank you. Thank you for all the hard work, all the tears, sacrifices, and everything you pour out. It is making a difference. You may not get the praise or acknowledgement you deserve and to be honest I can't even put into words the honor you deserve for your diligence in shaping the generation to come. I know you fail, I fail too. We are all doing our best. What we need more than anything is grace for ourselves and grace for each other as we seek the Lord and fiercely love our children no matter how old they are. All that you pour out is beautiful. In your darkest, loneliest, most hopeless, scariest mommy moments - you are not alone, you are not unseen, you are known, and perfectly loved by King Jesus. Every victory, every win, and every single precious moment of joy and love in your home doesn't stay there, it flows out of you, out of your children and shapes the world around us.  You are changing the world, one tiny human at a time.