In the last three months I have had trouble sleeping. This is a new thing for me. I’ve been awake many nights, WIDE EYED. Lord, have mercy. I think it’s safe to say that for many years sleep has become an idol for me -I LOVE, love, love sleep and need sleep. Without it I have been known to be a little, how should I put this, grizzly bearish in the past.
I have chosen (most moments) to use my time awake well. I’ve only lost my mind and let my mouth run away from me twice in three months which is a miracle for me because those of you who know me, know I need a solid 8-12 hours to function and be kind. So, I’ve grown! It’s kind of like I have a new super power - I can not sleep AND be nice to my husband and kids. 😜 Imagine that. This is new territory for me. It’s the power of Jesus, friends. Also, I’ve only yelled once (one of my two weak moments noted above) at David for waking me up, which also feels like win because in all fairness... Come On! This girl needs her beauty/sanity sleep! And the ONE night I am actually sleeping is not a good one for you to be awake - So, Please. Do. Not. Turn on lights, take a shower and steal my covers at 1:30 am. Just because you were up having good time with the Lord doesn’t mean I need to this night in particular as well. You know what I’m saying?!!! (But actually, maybe, probably, pray for David until I can sleep again... at some point in my life, hopefully soonish.)
Anyway.... sorry, I got distracted with my little rant. I don’t want to waste my awake time trying to fall back asleep because nothing is more maddening then lying in bed, trying to sleep as seconds, minutes and torturous hours pass. So, I’ve decided to be intentional and purposeful with this God ordained and unexpected quiet time I’ve become well aquatinted with in the middle of the night. There are few quiet moments in my house in this season... I have a busy and full life; four very enthusiastic, entertaining and theatrical children, and a husband with a high calling and full schedule. Most of my day from dawn til about 9 at night = full of crazy, busy, chaotic, beautiful, messy life. I wouldn’t want it any other way a solid 98% of the time, I have a glorious and good life. Real talk though, 2% of the time I desperately strive to create space for a peaceful, restorative moment to collect my thoughts and composure to be able to handle (with grace, firmness and a kind, calm tone of voice) the insanity that is three children full of hormones under one roof plus one free spirit. Bless. So instead of being bitter about these still and sleepless, quiet moments - I’m using them to seek the Lord, saturate in His Word, ponder and pray.
Friends, I will be honest with you. Yesterday was a rough day for me. Sometimes life is just hard and circumstances are hard and that is just a part of being alive. It’s not always tidy - life can be messy and what we do with that mess is everything.
Last night as I laid wide awake in bed, I found myself going over my day and wrestling through different moments. As I processed and prayed, moment by moment I sought the Lord, invited Him in and asked Him over and over again to show me His will.
There are three reasons that this has become one of my most fervent prayers:
- His will is perfect, pure and always best
- Once I know His will - it will define my will. What I want in the deepest part of my soul is to align with Him. His desires for me become my desires for me.
- When I am praying His will and it is also the desire of my heart - God moves. The God of the universe MOVES on my behalf!
This is just a short and simple truth that I want to share with you today. Prayer changes everything. Prayer changes us. Prayer moves the heart of God and captures His attention. Prayer changes our circumstances. Prayer has the power to change our every day lives in extraordinary ways.
I’m not saying “Friends, throw up your wishlist to the Father -it’s awesome!”
I am saying...
Friends!!!! Seek the heart of God!!! Know Him. Know His ways. Know His truth. Pour out your heart and the inner workings of your soul and all your hearts desires before Him -surrendered- with open hands and say, “God, this is me at the essence of my being, please would you move? Would you change my heart in any and every way that it does not reflect you? Would you shift my thoughts so that they are completely in line with yours? Would you shape my deepest desires and requests to be motivated and empowered by your Holy Spirit? Please align my will with yours because I trust you and I know the plans you have for me are GOOD. And God, when you reveal your desires, will and plan for me would you also give me every ounce of courage, humility, and grace to walk out your will in obedience, bravery and love. Amen!!!!” Amen!!!! Right?!
Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven...
In my heart as it is in heaven.
In my mind as it is in heaven.
In my soul as it is in heaven.
In my sleeplessness as it is in heaven.
In my home as it is in heaven.
In my church as it is in heaven.
In my everyday life Jesus - Your kingdom come, Your will be done.
When that is the cry of our hearts. When that is our desire, our hope our prayer and what we strive for... God moves.
My prayer is that we would approach His throne today with humility, surrender, joy, honesty and overall the willingness to bend to His perfect will. In that beautiful place of intentional, vulnerable prayer would He move... Would the countenance of our faces and our souls reflect the glory of God - because where He is moving His glorious light cannot be contained. Would that light be evident in our lives today and would it flow from precious moments intentionally set aside to powerfully pray His will.
Would we pray - and then wait and watch Him move.
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