When Life Doesn't Make Sense

      Just a little over two years ago God gave our family a very clear direction and a clear mission. It was one of the scariest things we had ever done, but we were certain that He was in it and certain of His calling. So, we jumped. Friends, it was right to do. We knew that moving to Corvallis and taking on a church re-plant, and everything that entailed was a risk... a huge risk for our family actually. But, let me tell you something true, ALL the best things in life are a little risky. This risk in particular was worth it. 

       I was awake most of the night writing and rewriting this post in my head, and it sounded so eloquent at 5am in my head, but now that I am sitting here banging on the keys it's so difficult to articulate all the thoughts and feelings.... because life doesn't always make sense and sometimes its more difficult than others to reconcile a world of things we don't understand. 

      All that to say, after two years of seeing God do more than we could have asked or imagined we begin the process of grieving and saying goodbye to a people that quickly became an intricate part of our lives, to a sea of beautiful faces that we called our church and our home. I don't know exactly how we got to this place, it actually doesn't make any sense to me and honestly I think at this point I would rather not know all the behind the scenes. But I know this for sure, when big things like this make no sense at all, GOD IS IN IT and we can trust Him. This Sunday is going to be the last Sunday of Doxology. I can't even wrap my mind around it.

       In the last two years I have seen God do so many beautiful things. He literally parted the seas in so many ways to even bring our family to Doxology. Then when we came we saw so much beauty unfold. God gave rest to some of the weary warriors that had been carrying a great load, he healed the broken hearted, restored faith, brought new growth, brought new people, brought unity, direction and so much life. Every Sunday morning when I stepped into our gathering place I knew that God had made me to love His people in that exact space and time, and even more powerful to me was that it felt like home to me. I knew that I belonged in that place and I knew every other person present belonged there right along with me. It's a beautiful and unique thing to have a space where you fit and a people that quickly become such an intricate part of your life in the most amazing way. Doxology, not the place, but the people are my home. It's the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye to something that you love with your whole entire heart. 

       I have never seen God love the church in such a tangible way as I saw him pour out His great love on Doxology.  The end of something beautiful by no means lessens the value and impact of the journey along the way. God has done beautiful, eternal, kingdom work in all of us and through all of us. Even as we spread out through the city, all the seeds that have been planted, watered and placed in the light of the sun through the investment of our lives will continue to grow. As what we have all worked so hard to build is coming to an end and moving us forward in a new direction, let us not lose sight of the big picture, the kingdom picture. Let's keep celebrating all the wins, every victory, every miracle, every sweet moment and all the time we have spent living life along side each other and making space for the Kingdom of heaven to touch Corvallis in a unique way that only we could. It has been the most beautiful adventure. 

        So, for those of us who are feeling quite unsettled, confused and unanchored at the moment, let's keep our eyes fixed on the unwavering truth of God's word. God is sovereign. Nothing and no one slips through His fingers or goes unseen. We are the apple of His eye, we are that essential and completely seen and known by Him. Even when nothing makes sense, God is in control. Even when our hopes and dreams play out differently than we expect, God is good, He is steady, He never changes, He is unwavering and He is always working in us and all around us for our good. It's hard to see that in the dark and uncertain moments, but it is certainly true. God is always at work. The most beautiful kind of faith is the one that leaps towards Him when there is nowhere else to land. 

       David and I are not the same people we were when we came to this place two years ago. Our time here in Corvallis with our Dox family has left an eternal and lasting mark on us. The great work He began, He will see through, in His powerful and perfect way. Every moment that Doxology built His kingdom here on earth will not come back empty or void. It's all for His glory and fame. It was an absolute and magnificent honor to be a part of His work in this place. How the Lord wove our hearts together as we built His kingdom together is eternal. 

      His kingdom come, His will be done in our hearts, in our homes, in Doxology, in Corvallis... and on earth as it is in heaven.  

Psalm 145:13 "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does."