Being a thankful Mama

      Every year around Thanksgiving I am reminded of how many things I have to be grateful for. My family, our church, our friends, our home, a smooth transition to a new place, God's magnificent love and grace... we are alive, healthy and safe. We are blessed.

     This year, I am especially grateful for my experience as a mother. Nothing has brought me more joy. Nothing has brought me more heart wrenching pain. Nothing has grown me more as a person, or shaped my view of the world in a more significant way. Watching my kids grow and discover the world in all its wonder is life giving and a beautiful adventure.

    I never knew love like this. My children are their own little people, free, independent, creative and strong minded as well as strong willed. They have their own identities and personalities and thoughts and ideas-  but they are an extension of me. Their joy is my joy, when they laugh I can't help but join in, their wins are my wins and the pride that has them bursting from the seams when they succeed...I am the insane and embarrassing mom yelling and crying tears of joy in the bleachers bursting right along with them. It's a beautiful thing (not the crazy mom moments, the experiences we get to share). On the other side of the equation is the harsh reality that I see their tears and their pain is my pain. When they hurt my heart aches too. I get to feel all the things. With four kids all experiencing different things at every moment of every day, let me tell you, I feel a lot of feely things.

      I sometimes get a little overwhelmed. There is always laundry to be done, dishes in the sink, toys scattered, forts built, meals to be made, errands to run, and many things on my to do list. Often those are the things on the forefront of my mind. But, recently I have found myself savoring all the little moments that I have with my kids. Filing away all the precious things that I never want to forget. Like Sunday's sweet little hands that gently pat my arm and how she always reaches to hold my face in her hands when she gives me little kisses. I love how Lily snuggles in next to me when we read and bursts into laughter every chance she gets. She is a joy giver and her laughter is contagious. She covers her mouth with her hand when she REALLY cracks herself up covering the holes in her smile from her missing baby teeth. Hope is already a lady, and I think because she has all of the sudden become so composed and self aware and full of grace, it makes me treasure the little girl moments that she still has when she cartwheels through the house, pulls Sunday up on her lap, and busts out in song even more because I am literally watching her grow up before my eyes. Elijah calls himself a man boy, I suppose he is. He is getting tall, he is brilliant and he is very thoughtful. He is of the age (middle school) where only Nike clothing is acceptable, his friends are of great importance, and video games dominate his media time. But at night when he has something on his mind, he curls up on the side of my bed and tells me all about his man boy life. He never leaves the house without giving me a huge hug and making sure I hear him say he loves me. These are the moments that I am putting down the dishes to enjoy. You know why? Because every day when I see their little beings saunter to the kitchen table I am thankful for their tiny frames, because they grow too fast. Every night when I hear their little feet running to my room in the middle of the night, I pick them up, wrap them in my blanket and hold them tight, because when they are thirty that's gonna be weird. This time that I have with them; toothless, always hungry, scared of the dark and asking me a million questions every day is limited...  and I don't want to miss a single moment of them still being little.

      So this Thanksgiving I want my kids to know that I am a thankful mama. Thankful to be a part of the messes made in this home, the laughter shared and even the tears. Thankful that they are mine and I have the privilege of shaping them as individuals and watching them grow. Thankful that in our house we laugh, we sing, we say sorry, we forgive, we dance, we fight, we love. I am thankful that we  get to feel all the things together. Lots of feeling all the things. Wouldn't trade it for the world.